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24 October 2010 @ 10:10 pm
 
Wow.

I can't believe how quickly my good mood went to shit this morning when I got to church. I didn't even touch the door and something in me wanted to just go home.

I know gossip and all that stuff happens in Church and whatnot, but I'm so surprised that despite me having -no- involvement in any of it, it still makes my stomach churn with disgust.

I wish people would just get their shit together. Seriously. Overhearing their mess makes me so anxious. You got YCC people having a problem with Horace, you got these random girls here hating on x and y's relationship, you got a disliking b for no reason... like why is this high school shit in church? You think you're that high and mighty to not just squash the bullshit? That posting shit on FB as "subliminal messages" is solving the problem? You think that all this little stuff that's going on isn't personal whatsoever, when it's pretty much the equivalent of walking outside in your underwear???

Sometimes I really want to just stop, I really do... having some support and then turning around and talking about whatever all over again. It's so draining... I don't even understand how they even have the energy for it.

Next weekend is the YCC anniversary, and I'm purposely missing out on the luncheon because I really don't want to be there. People expecting me to go when I've never said I was gonna go. I never paid but someone paid for me? Something in me just smells the confusion that they'll end up putting themselves in, getting aggravated with each other and whatnot... no, I'm not gonna put myself in the middle of that. I'm just gonna enjoy pumpkins and changing trees and that bitchin maple cotton candy and then I'll go to their concert and then the official anniversary service on Sunday and that's it.

I'm glad I have older people in the church to talk to. Because all this youth stuff, this, that and the third is bothering me to no end. But even then, there's certain individuals that are just... ugh. Lemme leave it as that.



In other news.... Mom told me that Cedelia's pregnancy is confirmed


This may be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what they want to do with the wedding stuff. As much as I want her to have a nice wedding, her original wish of just having a small ceremony at City Hall is probably best. The simplest way I can see it is just doing that, and then having a big wedding dinner afterwards. But I don't know whether she wants to go with the date planned, or push it to later or what, so I'm hoping she'll get in contact with me soon, once her and her boyfran decides what they want to do.

ughhhh